Monthly Archives: April 2012

Working Towards Solving an Epidemic : Child Sex Abuse

April 26, 2012

Child abuse occurs in epidemic proportions nationwide and across the globe. In the U.S. alone, one in four girls and one in six boys are sexually abused before their eighteenth birthdays, according to Darkness to Light,, a national child sexual abuse prevention organization.

Our response as a country depends on

  • Acknowledge the scope of the problem
  • Informing and publicizing the facts
  • Removing the myths about predators
  • Emphasizing every adult’s responsibility to report suspicious activity or known abuse
  • Providing guidance on how to report and prevent abuse to every adult and institution that serves children.

Reporting suspected or known abuse is a must if we are to protect our children. Child sexual abuse reports should be made to the state’s child protective services agency, the police or both. Research on disclosure rates tell us that less than a third of incidents/cases are disclosed or identified, and even fewer are reported. And false reports of child sexual abuse  made by children are rare.

Further, there are a lot of deeply entrenched myths about child sexual abuse that are linked to harmful outcomes. One of the most deep-rooted and erroneous beliefs is that strangers pose the most danger to our children. One powerful myth is that pedophiles look and act creepy. The fact is people who abuse children look like everyday people: our relatives, our teachers, our coaches, our friends. The predators typically go out of their way to appear trustworthy and to gain the confidence of unsuspecting children and adults.

The national dialogue that Penn State has sparked mustn’t stop now. As a nation, as a community,we simply must continue to talk about the ever present danger of Child sexual abuse, both with our children and with other adults.

Toll free: 855-529-4274
Tim Kosnoff, direct: 425-837-9690
Dan Fasy, direct: 206-462-4338
Kosnoff Fasy, Seattle office: 206-257-3590

If you are looking for child sex abuse attorneys, Kosnoff Fasy has experience in boy scout abuse, mormon sexual abuse, catholic church abuse, and more. You can contact us at or Toll Free: 1-855-LAW-4-CSA


April 20, 2012

The Following is posted from SNAP Offers great resources for those dealing with Abuse.
Flashbacks are normal
Vietnam vets have normalized this experience and have coined the term Post-Traumatic Stress Syndrome.

Even the diagnostic category book for psychiatry defines Post-Traumatic Stress Syndrome as the normal experience of experiencing an event that is outside the range of normal human experience. Flashbacks feel crazy because the little one doesn’t know that there is an adult survivor available to help.

What helps

  1. Tell yourself that you are having a flashback.
  2. Remind yourself that the worst is over. The feelings and sensations you are experiencing are memories of the past. The actual event took place long ago when you were younger, and you survived. Now it is time to let out that terror, rage, hurt and/or panic. Now is the time to honor your experience.
  3. Get grounded. This means stamping your feet on the ground so that the little one knows you have feet and can get away if you need to. If the trauma occurred as a child, you couldn’t get away. Now you can.
  4. Breathe. When we get scared we stop normal breathing. As a result, our body begins to panic from the lack of oxygen. Lack of oxygen in itself causes a great deal of panic feelings: pounding in the head, tightness, sweating, feeling faint, shakiness, dizziness. When we breathe deeply enough, a lot of the panic feeling can decrease. Breathing deeply means putting your hand on your diaphragm and breathing deeply enough so that your diaphragm pushes against your hand and then exhaling so that the diaphragm goes in.
  5. Reorient to the present. Begin to use your five senses in the present. Look around and see the colors in the room, the shapes of things, the people near, etc. Listen to the sounds around you: your breathing, traffic, birds, people, cars, etc. Feel your body and what is touching it: your clothes, your own arms and hands, the chair or floor supporting you.
  6. Speak to the little one and reassure him/her. It is very healing to get your adult in the now, that you can get out if you need to, that it is OK to feel the feelings of long ago without reprisal. The child needs to know that it is safe to experience the feelings/sensations and let go of the past.
  7. Get in touch with your needs for boundaries. Sometimes when we are having a flashback we lose the sense of where we leave off and the world begins; as if we do not have skin. Wrap yourself in a blanket, hold a pillow or stuffed animal, go to bed, sit in a closet… any way that you can feel yourself truly protected from the outside.
  8. Get support. Depending on your situation, you may need to be alone or may want someone near you. In either case, it is important that your close ones know about flashbacks so they can help with the process, whether that means letting you be by yourself or being there.
  9. Take time to recover. Sometimes flashbacks are very powerful. Give yourself the time to make the transition from this powerful experience. Don’t expect yourself to jump into adult activities right away. Take a nap, or a warm bath, or some quiet time. Do not beat yourself up for having a flashback. Appreciate how much you went through. . .
  10. Honor your experience. Appreciate yourself for having survived that horrible time [when you were younger]. Respect your body’s need to experience those feelings of long ago.
  11. Be patient. It takes time to heal the past. It takes time to learn appropriate ways of taking care of self., of being an adult who has feelings, and developing effective ways of coping in the here and now.
  12. Find a competent therapist. Look for a therapist who understands the processes of healing from [trauma: incest, rape, war.] A therapist can be a guide, a support, a coach in this healing process. You do not have to do it alone . . . ever again.
  13. Join a self-help group. Survivors are wonderful allies in this process of healing. It is a healing thing to share your process with others who understand so deeply what you are going through.
  14. Know you are not crazy… you are healing!

If you are looking for child abuse attorneys, Kosnoff Fasy has experience in boy scout abuse, mormon sexual abuse, catholic church abuse, and more. You can contact us at or Toll Free: 1-855-LAW-4-CSA